Praznic cel mai mare: The biggest meal in memory of a loved one

Moldovan traditions, as readers of this blog can attest, tend to rely on the presence of food and wine. But then again, that might not be all that different than ours. Although I attended a praznic back in my training village, this was the first one that was hosted in my home. On 8 January, 2010, we celebrated the life Maria’s husband who died six years ago. This tradition usually goes on for seven years after someone passes.

In the largest room of our house, though not very large indeed, 25 family members, colleagues, and neighbors came to pay their respects. Every inch of the table was covered in food. There was a lot of toasting in memory of family members, lots of house wine, and lots of leftover food. Which is why when the main guests left, Maria and I quickly rearranged the food to prepare for the second wave of guests. I vacuumed the same rug four times that day! There simply wasn’t enough room to have everyone at one table, one celebration of life.

I have known for some time that Maria’s husband was a well-respected man in town. When I tell people I live with Maria, someone inevitable will refer to how they knew her husband and what a good, honorable man he was. As you can see in the pictures, part of the tradition also involves going to the cemetery. Costel’s grave site conveys the importance the community placed on his life. His grave is the first inside the gate, and quiet large. I went with my “brothers” to the cemetery and here is a short summary of what we did:

-We poured wine (taken from the church) in the shape of the crucifix on the grave.

-We built a small fire to burn incense with, and carried the canister of fragrant smoke around the grave, clockwise.

-Each time someone walked by, we served them wine and candy (it doesn’t have to be candy, just some kind of food). The person drank the wine after saying a phrase that translates to “may God forgive him.” You can also pour the wine on the grave if you chose not to drink it.

-We lit a candle at the head and foot of the grave.

-We placed yellow flowers in the vase. Yellow flowers are only given for death related ceremonies.

-We took an offering of wine, bread, and candy to a home near the cemetery. The man of the house came out and kissed the bread, drank the wine, and extinguished the candle in the bread after saying a few words in memory of Costel.

I truly enjoyed witnessing this tradition. After helping Maria cook for three days and going to the cemetery with her sons, I feel much closer to Maria and her family. This is a tradition of much love and respect.